Shattered Dreams (The Believe Series Book 1) Read online

  “The asshole wouldn’t take no for an answer,” she explains. “He followed me home and wouldn’t leave.”

  “I didn’t hear you complaining when I had my tongue and cock in you last night,” I hear Jareth say.

  I start laughing and hear Shannon respond, “Fuck you Jareth.”

  “You did, last night,” I hear him a lot clearer now. As if he is whispering this in her ear. “And quiet well I might add.”

  “Damn it,” she pouts. “Both of you are so mean to me today.”

  I never thought of what this must be doing to her. She never allows herself to get close to a guy, and the one she did, knocks her up.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you last night, sweetie,” I say, “And I didn’t mean to call so early and wake you. How’s the morning sickness?”

  “Shit, hush, Alicia,” she says lowering her voice, “Also, you know I’m a big girl and can handle myself, so don’t ever worry. Last night was about you, not me.”

  “Shit, sorry,” I say. “I take it you haven’t told him yet?”

  “No,” she answers, “and I don’t think I’m going to. Anyway, don’t worry, I was already awake. Jareth got a text before you called.” I hear more shuffling. “I take it there’s a reason you called as it’s still early.”

  “Gage is taking me out tonight,” I start, “he’s taking me to Shasta’s.”

  “Oh wow,” she says, “Well I guess that means you need something hot to wear, right?”

  “If you don’t mind,” I say.

  “Honey not at all,” she says. “It’s about time you got the vagina cobwebs cleaned out, and I hear he has a Harley, lucky bitch.” She’s laughing and I hear Jareth join in.

  I chuckle, but try my best to sound stern, “Shannon, don’t broadcast my sex life with the baby daddy.”

  Her laughter dies. “Speaking of,” she starts, “I’m not feeling so great. I’ll be by later with a few things, ok?”

  “That’s fine,” I answer, “Feel better.” Shannon hangs up without responding. I wonder how she will explain the morning sickness.

  “I can’t make her tell him,” I say aloud, deciding I need a shower.

  Nude and about to step into the shower, my cell rings. I frown not recognizing the number. “Hello,” I answer.

  “How’s my girl doing this morning,” Gage asks in that deep voice of his and a smile breaks out across my face.

  “Your girl, huh,” I question, anything to keep this man talking. “When did that happen?”

  He chuckles and my knees buckle and I have to grab the sink to keep from falling. “I believe it was last night,” he says, “when I made you scream my name, using my cock and bike.”

  “Is that so?” I joke, but he’s right. “So, does that mean since I left my claw marks on your back that you belong to me as well?”

  “Yes, that’s so, and I belonged to you the second that tight pussy claimed my cock,” he says, then adds in a whisper, “But, thanks for the claw marks. They remind me that last night wasn’t a dream.”

  My heart melts. “No Gage,” I whisper back, “It wasn’t a dream.”

  There is a few seconds of silence. “You never did answer my question,” he says.

  “Question,” I repeat.

  He laughs. “Yes, question,” he says. “I asked how my girl is doing this morning.”

  “Sorry,” I say, “I was thinking about this new guy in my life that can make me come hard by just using his cock and bike, I was sidetracked. But to answer your question, I’m a little sore, but a good kind of sore.”

  “Good, I was worried,” he says releasing a breath of air.

  I am confused. “Why were you worried?” I ask.

  “With you, a side of me that I never knew existed wants to come out,” he explains, “It’s almost animal like. I was afraid I was too rough.”

  I smile and sigh. “I know I don’t have much experience,” I say, “but with you, I want it rough too.”

  “You know Alicia,” he says, “I was right last night.”

  “Right about what exactly?” I ask.

  “The boy in me that was in love with you years ago,” he says, “is still there, he just grew into a man.”

  I felt frozen. Rooted to where I stand. “Oh,” I whisper.

  He sighs. “Alicia, you don’t need to say anything,” he says. “I know for you it’s too soon. What you have to understand is, it has been years for me. Plus, I never expected last night to ever happen. I have… rules.”

  “What do you mean rules?” I ask.

  “I’m a cop,” he starts, “I don’t allow anyone to get close, and in the process, I don’t get close. That’s why this has become complicated for me. I always thought I was safe. That my heart was safe because you would never care for me the way I care for you. After last night, I now have my doubts.”

  “It was just one night, Gage,” I whisper. “I like you. I really do, and I think if given the chance, this could go somewhere, but I’m scared.”

  “I know baby,” he says, “Me too. Now, for the reason I called. I wanted to tell you not to wear any underwear tonight.”

  “Oh my fucking god, Gage,” I say, laughing so hard I have to sit down. When I do, I let out a little screech.

  “Alicia, what’s wrong?” Gage questions my outburst of surprise. “Are you ok baby?”

  Laughing, holding the phone, and trying to put a towel under my bare ass, I choke out, “No, I’m fine. I sat down on the cold toilet lid and forgot I was nude.”

  Gage groans into the phone. “Baby, you just made my cock hard,” he says. “Just for that I should come over there and spank you.”

  Oh god! Now I’m wet. “Then why don’t you?” I whisper in a husky voice.

  “I wish I could,” he says and you can hear the regret in his voice. “But it would ruin what I have planned for tonight.”

  I shrug even though he can’t see me. “A girl’s got to try, right?” I say.

  “Baby, it’s just, I need tonight to be perfect,” he says. “I’m leaving town tomorrow for work.”

  This is news to me. We talked last night, just not about his job. “Oh,” I say disappointment evident in my voice. “I understand.”

  “Alicia, I know we just met up last night,” he starts, “and I don’t want to leave. Believe me I tried to get out of it. So can you humor me and do as I ask?”

  “What?” I say, “No tempting you and no underwear?”

  “Baby, you can tempt and tease me all you want,” he says in a sex filled husky voice, “As long as you follow through on it later, just no underwear, ok?”

  I smile, wondering what he’s up too. “Ok, I can do that,” I say chuckling. “Now, can I take my shower before I catch a cold?”

  He laughs. “By all means beautiful lady,” he says.

  “Good bye, Gage,” I whisper and go to hang up, but his voice stops me.

  “Oh and one more thing,” he says, “don’t touch yourself. Your orgasms are mine. Do you understand? They belong to me and only me.”

  My breath catches and I swallow hard. “Yours,” I say, my voice breaking. “All yours Gage.”

  “Later baby,” he says and I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “Bye, Gage,” I respond and hang up. I sit there, still naked, and think about what he said. He still loved me.

  Yes, in school I thought I was in love with Rick and he always treated me like shit. Yet there I was, hanging on his every move. Why didn’t I see that Gage wanted me? He always smiled and greeted me every day. He would hold doors open and always seemed to be where I was. The way he felt was as plain as the nose on my face, yet I didn’t see it. Why?

  Simple, I didn’t want to. Throughout school Rick was the only guy to pay me any attention. I wasn’t what you would call pretty. I hid behind large glasses and baggy clothes. However, Gage saw beneath all that to the person I was.

  But could I love Gage? Did I even really believe in love anymore? True, I write about love as if I
do, but that’s different. It’s fiction, this is reality. I made the mistake of giving my heart away once, just to have it chewed up and spat out. Can I do it again? Did I pick the wrong brother all those years ago? Shaking my head, I decide that the decision can be made later; I need to shower and wait for Shannon.

  Stepping into the shower I think that as long as I look at this from book prospective, I should be able to make the right decision. Satisfied, I shower, dress, and wait for Shannon.

  ***

  It’s three by the time Shannon arrives. “Hey, sorry I’m running behind,” she says as she storms through the door with Jareth in tow.

  I laugh. “My wardrobe is cause to call in the troops?” I ask referring to Jareth.

  She drops the things she brought on the couch and rolls her eyes at me. “Mr. Asshole won’t leave me alone for more than a couple seconds,” she says, “As if I need a sitter.”

  Jareth makes himself at home in one of the chairs in the living room and smiles. “Call me names if it makes you feel any better Shannon,” he says, “But like I told you, there’s something you’re not telling me. I’m not leaving your side except for work until I find out what it is.”

  She groans and points at him. “Do you see what I have to put up with,” she asks. “He’s driving me crazy. Will you tell him I’m not hiding a damn thing?” Her eyes are pleading me.

  What the hell does she want me to do, lie? I can’t do that. “Shannon, it’s not my place to say anything either way,” I say, hoping that I just saved my ass.

  “You too,” she asks. “Everyone is ganging up on me today. You’re supposed to be my best friend Alicia.”

  I look between her and Jareth, not sure what to say or do. Maybe I said a little too much last night to Jareth, but damn it, he has a right to know. “Show me what you brought,” I say, changing the subject.

  She gives me a look as she’s reaching for the clothes that say, ‘this talk isn’t over yet’. “Jareth said that Gage’s favorite color is black,” she says.

  “Oh my fucking god,” Jareth says in mock disbelief. “You can use my name.”

  “Anyway,” she says loudly which earns her a chuckle from Jareth, and says to me, “I only brought black cocktail dresses and shoes.”

  I take the three she has and wrinkle my nose. “I don’t see how I’m getting on and back off his bike in any of these,” I say. “Last night was a pain and tonight he said no underwear.”

  “He does own a car,” Jareth supplies, smiling.

  “Ok, that’s solved,” Shannon says, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “By the way, you weren’t wearing any last night. How did that go?”

  I chuckle. “Well as you put it,” I start, “I did get the cobwebs cleared out, so how do you think it went?” Shannon laughs.

  “I never thought I would see the day,” Jareth says laughing and covers his heart, “That I would be sitting in on girl talk. Shoot me now.”

  “Funny Jareth,” Shannon says and turns back to me. “My favorite on you is the kuku lace. I think with your curves, you’ll look like pure sex.”

  She pulls it from my hands and holds it up. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. The outer layer is pure black lace with flower type designs and three quarter sleeves, while the under fabric is a thicker lace.

  I reach out and run my fingers over it. It feels like pure heaven to the touch. I can’t wait to put it on as it must feel as if you’re wearing nothing at all.

  Taking it from her hands I hear Jareth speak, “I’m not a clothes expert, but that dress is going to rock Gage’s world.”

  Smiling I say, “Then this is the dress.”

  Shannon smiles too. “Then go get dressed,” she says, “he’ll be here soon.” Feeling like a kid on Christmas morning, I rush off to my room to change.

  Slipping on shoes, I hear a knock at my bedroom door and then it opens. Shannon sticks her head in. “Can we talk while you’re getting ready?” she asks.

  I nod and motion her inside. “You need to tell him,” I say after she closes the door. “He has a right to know.”

  She flops down on my bed and sighs. “I know,” she says. “I just don’t know how to tell him.”

  I sit down next to her and place my hand on her shoulder. “You have a story, I know,” I say, “A story that is yours and yours alone, but one day, you will need to trust someone and tell them. Let someone help you carry the burden. If Jareth didn’t want to be a part of your life, I don’t think he would be sitting out there in my living room.”

  “Ya, I know,” she admits. “I just don’t know how to depend on someone other than myself.”

  I inhale deeply and slowly, and then release it. “Why is it, when we finally decide to open our heart again, we worry we might make the same mistakes,” I ask, pleading with my eyes for her to have the answer.

  “Have you ever seen the movie, The Perks of being a Wallflower?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “No,” I answer.

  “Well there’s a line from the movie that pretty much sums it all up,” she explains. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Then she turns to face me. “In your case, you were rejected, so you reject everyone. The life you have chosen to live is one of fantasy. Reality cannot be controlled no matter how hard we try, but fiction, with the click of the backspace button, can be. You can’t be hurt by someone who doesn’t really exist. That is your reality.”

  I think about what she just said and she’s right. I do accept the love I think I deserve, a love I can control.

  “What about you?” I ask knowing I’m treading water. “Haven’t you followed that quote as well?”

  She stands. “We aren’t talking about me,” she says with tears in her eyes, and walks out of the room.

  Shit, I think. Will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut? Shannon needs me on her side, not making her feel as if I’m against her. Shaking my head, I walk into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.

  I’m applying lip gloss when I hear Shannon call through the door, “Alicia, Gage is here.”

  My heart speeds up and I feel butterflies in my stomach. “Coming,” I call back as arms snake around my waist and I jump.

  “You will be tonight,” I hear Gage whisper in my ear.

  “Shit Gage,” I say breathlessly and turn in his arms, “You scared me.” My sex clinches when I see what he’s wearing. Clad in a black suit and baby blue tie, he’s every woman’s fantasy come to life. The suit hugs his beautiful body just right, showing his well-defined muscles.

  He smirks and kisses me. “Sorry about that baby,” he says against my lips. “I just couldn’t wait a second longer to see you.”

  I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck as his lips skim down my neck. “Hmm… I missed you too,” I say my knees growing weak.

  He pulls back slightly to look into my eyes. “You missed me, really,” he asks in surprise.

  I nod, biting my lip. “I’ve had time to think about what you said,” I explain, “I’m ready to accept the love I know I deserve instead of the love I think I deserve. You make me believe in love again.”

  He smiles widely, “I do?”

  Smiling back, I nod, “You do,” I say and I feel his hands slide across my ass. If I were wearing panties, they would be soaking wet. “Maybe we should skip dinner and stay home.”

  He laughs, shaking his head. “It’s good to see that you follow directions,” he says. “Let’s go before I change my mind and fuck your pretty little brains out.”

  He steps back and extends his hand. Taking it I gasp, “Oh my.”

  Chapter Ten

  Secrets Are Revealed

  Taking her hand in mine, I pull her close. We have to get out of here before I ruin everything and take her now. Thank god I remembered condoms this time.

  Wrapping am arm around her waist, I lead her out and down the hall to the living room where I suspect Jareth and Shannon are still arguing. He must be blind if he can’t see that the secret she’s hiding is that s
he’s expecting. Even I can see this.

  Leaning in next to Alicia’s ear I whisper, “You look beautiful.” She blushes and I place a kiss on her cheek.

  We can hear them before we can see them. “Damn it Shannon,” Jareth hisses. “I’m not fucking stupid. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. Although, after only one night, where we didn’t even exchange names, I’m not sure how it involves me. It can’t be that bad, just fucking tell me already.”

  “Asshole,” Shannon says and goes to slap him.

  Jareth is faster and grabs her hand in mid-swing. “Enough with the fucking names and just tell me,” he demands.

  Alicia and I come to a stop and wait. Shannon is red faced and crying. She yanks her hand back and looks at the floor. “The condom didn’t work,” she whispers.

  Jareth goes white. “What?” he asks in a mixture of shock and confusion.

  Shannon looks up. “The condom didn’t work,” she repeats. “I’m pregnant Jareth.”

  Jareth pales even more and I see his Adams apple bob. “Are,” he starts shaking his head, “are you sure it’s mine?”

  That was harsh and apparently the wrong thing to say. This time Shannon’s hand connects across Jareth’s face.

  “You really are a fucking asshole,” she says and storms out of the apartment.

  Jareth touches his face and looks at me. “What did I do,” he asks.

  I shake my head and look at Alicia. “Call and make sure Shannon’s ok,” I tell her. “I’ll have a word with Jareth.” She nods and walks back to her bedroom.

  Turning back to Jareth I say, “She’s right, you are an asshole. Are you sure it’s mine? Come on. Clearly it’s yours or she wouldn’t have had a hard time telling you. She would have just fucked you until she was tired of you or until she started to show.”

  He flops down on the couch and buries his face in his hands. “I didn’t ask for this,” he says. “I never wanted kids.”

  I move closer. “Well you better get ready,” I say, “You don’t have much of a choice now.”

  He looks up at me with fear in his eyes. “You know what my childhood was like,” he says. “I didn’t want kids because I was afraid of becoming my father.”